Hygiene: other people having problems

If you work in a cubicle environment and sit next to someone who has a personal hygiene problem that is very hard to ignore, you may be suffering when you don’t have to. Here are some helpful tips.

1. Recognise your own inhibition

People typically feel uncertain about bringing up issues with this topic for two obvious reasons. It's not as if hygiene is an insurmountable issue - more of a convenience issue and we fear the other person just might be hurt or offended.

2. Calculate the 'cost / benefit'

We often look at the balance between cost and benefit and choose to continue to suffer. In fact, the fear of humiliating the other person can be so great that some people absolutely refuse to broach the topic. 

3. Don't make a drama out of it

Keep the scope of this problem small and the tone breezy and relaxed. Don't even think about mentioning everyone knows about the problem but him or her. If everyone does, it is a good reason why you should say something, but it would be far too insulting to actually say aloud.

4. Be very careful in your use of terms.

While there is no word that doesn't carry with it a bit of a stigma, words like "stink" or "offend," certainly don't work. Similarly, don't go for political or cute language such as "hygiene impaired." This isn't a laughing matter.

5. Good intentions

Start the conversation by sharing your good intentions. For example, "I wonder if I could talk about something that would help me out a bit at work. It's not a huge deal, but it's worth mentioning."

6. Limit the scope of the problem.

Once again, don't say it's been going on forever or it's causing you huge grief or that everyone else has talked over the issue. Since it's the first time you've brought it up, treat it as something that has only recently become an issue.

7. Keep the discussion private

- during and after your conversation. This will help the other person feel safe remedying the problem.

8. Offer a way out

If it's feasible, try to give the other person an out or excuse. For example, "Recently I get the feeling that maybe you've been exercising before work or something. In any case, we work so close together that I'm wondering if we can talk about a change that's affecting our working environment." At this point, you've delicately placed the problem in the open and the quicker you finish the discussion the better.

9. Save face

Accept any excuse they might come up with - bogus or otherwise. This is all about helping the other person save face. Once again, keep the tone easy and relaxed.

10. Never humiliate

Perhaps the most important thing to remember as you approach such a highly sensitive topic is that you care about the other person and want to help him or her both address the issue and not feel humiliated in the process. Keeping this in mind will go a long way toward setting the tone and helping an awkward discussion go quickly and smoothly.

Going further

• Feedback - in management terms, feedback is the process of ensuring that someone doing a task is given information on how well they are doing it. Feedback is the most powerful and important part of developing staff.
  Defence mechanisms and feedback - feedback is vital to learning and to management. However, there are many processes that tend to insulate us from feedback - when it is unwelcome.
• Johari Window - a model for showing how individuals can acquire more data and understanding about themselves.